This weekend I met up with my consultant. She's been very encouraging at the fact that she sees me in this to win. My fear however doubts every part of what I can do. I realize that's just negative thinking because I fear failure more than I fear success. Which is usually the heart fearing suffering than actually suffering.
And the verdict is that everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end. Although this means to win the game, one must be an active player of the game. You can not win by sitting on the sidelines because you're afraid to lose. So I must get back into the game.
Today I put together my binders for organizational material. I know that it will take time before things grow, and ironically that is what I'm most impatient about. Waiting. I am trying my best to focus on the process, but it's difficult when all you want to see is the results.
But if one wants to become a leader in anything in life, one must learn to follow. Following means to humble one self, learn the ropes of the ones before you and grow in wisdom. Only then will others want to follow you.
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